Heal Within with Dr. Evette Rose

How to Make Peace With Your Past Without Repeating It + Meditation

• Dr. Evette Rose • Season 15 • Episode 8

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Have you ever asked yourself why that old version of you still shows up in the present? Why the choices, beliefs, or pain from years ago still shape who you are today? You’re not alone—and there’s a reason for it.

In this episode, we uncover how the brain encodes early experiences and why childhood overwhelms can echo into adulthood. The amygdala, our brain’s emotional “smoke detector,” stores overwhelming moments and assigns meaning—even if that meaning is distorted. Because the frontal cortex (responsible for perspective and reasoning) wasn’t fully developed in childhood, you couldn’t contextualize what happened. Instead, you internalized it, turning those experiences into unconscious beliefs about yourself. Unless updated, those beliefs continue shaping your identity and decisions today.

But healing is possible—and it begins with compassion. I share an eight-step process for making peace with your past self without repeating old patterns:

  1. Cultivate empathy for your younger self.
  2. Embrace your humanity and imperfections.
  3. Practice genuine forgiveness (for yourself and others).
  4. Accept what happened without minimizing or denying it.
  5. Take ownership without shame.
  6. Make amends where possible.
  7. Become the person you once needed.
  8. Live aligned with your authentic values.

The most profound revelation? Each time you meet an old story with compassion instead of criticism, you literally rewire your emotional circuitry. Neuroscience confirms that compassion-based reframing activates new neural pathways, reducing the grip of fear and shame.

This episode closes with a guided meditation designed to help you connect with your younger self, offer comfort, and create a felt experience of integration and healing.

✨ Inside this episode:

  • How unresolved childhood memories become “identity scripts”
  • The role of the amygdala and frontal cortex in emotional imprinting
  • A step-by-step roadmap to release old versions of yourself
  • A guided meditation for deep integration and compassion

Your past is part of your story, but it doesn’t have to dictate your future. Join me in this soul-nourishing journey back to wholeness—one breath, one breakthrough at a time.

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Speaker 1:

Welcome to Heal Within, here with me, Dr. Evette Rose, trauma Therapist and creator of Metaphysical Anatomy Technique. Now this podcast is your safe place to explore healing, nervous system repair and also deep transformation. And if you're ready to go deeper and you would like to be supported on your journey, you can also book a one-on-one session with me or with any of my certified metapsychology coaching practitioners. You can also join our upcoming live events, workshops or retreats at metaphysicalanatomycom. And now let's begin your journey back to wholeness, one breath and one breakthrough at a time. And today we're going to explore something that lives at the heart of deep healing making peace with your past without repeating it.

Speaker 1:

If you've ever asked yourself, why does that old version of me still affect who I am now? You are definitely not alone. Now I have sat with so many people who still carry shame, regret or confusion about the younger versions of themselves, versions that they've outgrown. Yet they just, it's like they just cannot let go of it. And if I'm honest, I've been there too. I mean, this is a journey. There are moments where I also dip in and out of that. And, you see, but for a long time I unknowingly accepted someone else's distorted perspective of who I was. You see, their inability to give love became my standard for what I could expect from the world, and their emotional limits became the glass ceiling for my own self-worth. But here's the truth that I really would like to share with you today you no longer need to accept anyone else's story about who you are. Your past is not a life sentence. It's actually a starting point, and you really. It's actually a starting point and you really truly can absolutely write a new chapter.

Speaker 1:

Now, why is it that we do stay stuck in the past? What is the neuroscience behind that? Let's start by talking about the brain, because when we go through emotionally overwhelming experiences, especially in our childhood, we know that these moments are recorded in a part of the brain that's called the amygdala, which acts like an emotional smoke detector, quite frankly, and it pairs that pain with meaning, even when that meaning is distorted. So if your early experiences actually taught you, for example, when I reach out, I'm rejected, and when I express myself, I get punished, that pattern becomes stored in your implicit memory system. Now, this means that, even if you don't consciously remember what happened or why, it lives in your body, your environment, your relationships, your habits. They could all trigger those unconscious patterns again and again and again, and we call this neural patterning.

Speaker 1:

You see, the frontal cortex, the part of the brain that's responsible for perspective, self-awareness and emotional regulation, isn't fully developed in childhood. So back then you couldn't necessarily contextualize what was happening, you just absorbed it, you just accepted it and you made it mean something about you and those beliefs they shape now your identity, until you decide to update them. You see, there's a price that we pay holding on to this, because I've worked with a lot of people who, decades later, still describe their younger selves with words like ashamed, stupid, weak, unworthy. But here's the thing you cannot heal if you are at war with your past self, because if you haven't made peace with who you were, then that part of you continues to lead your life from behind the scenes. It shows up in your relationships, your fears, your self-doubt and even your health. So let's talk about how do we heal that, step by step. So we're going to touch on eight steps to make peace with your past self.

Speaker 1:

Step number one it's empathy. Begin by feeling what that younger version of you felt. They weren't bad, they were overwhelmed, they were unprotected or misled and they were just trying to survive. So when you meet them with empathy, you start the repair process. Step number two embrace your humanity. I mean, the parts that you criticize are actually often the parts that kept you safe. Acting out, shutting down, saying maybe the wrong thing, you might feel like that's not survival event. Well, in a way, in a bizarre, indirect way, it probably was. You see, being human means that you didn't get it right every single time, but that doesn't make you unworthy of love.

Speaker 1:

Step number three is forgiveness. Now, this is not the type of forgiveness where it says, well, what happened was okay. There's such a misconception about forgiveness. I actually even don yourself from the shame loop. You didn't know then what you know now. And your younger self doesn't deserve a life sentence.

Speaker 1:

Step number four it's acceptance. You see, you did what you did and you were who you were. Accept acceptance means stopping the fight with what already had happened. You can't rewrite that past in that moment, but you can change how it lives in your body. Step number five ownership. You see, healing doesn't mean that you bypass responsibility. If you hurt others, acknowledge it, say I did that and I'm sorry, but that kind of ownership, that is what clears your heart.

Speaker 1:

Step number six make amends. You may not be able to undo the past, but you can choose to live in a way that really, truly honors your growth. Acts of kindness, service, integrity, these are all forms of healing forward. And step number seven be the person that you needed. Ask yourself, who do I want to be now? What qualities do I want to embody? You see, you're not that child anymore. You are now the one who gets to reparent that child and build a new way forward.

Speaker 1:

And now step eight live your best life. You see, your best life doesn't mean perfection, it means living. How can I say it's meaning like you're living more aligned with your truth, with feeling happy, joy, peace and fulfillment. It's almost like letting that weight from the past now just fall away. Fall away so that you can move forward lighter, clearer and more alive. Because this is a powerful way and powerful ways to repattern the brain. Because I want to circle back a little bit to neuroscience because the brain learns through repetition. And each time you meet an old story with a new response, with self-compassion instead of shame, understanding instead of judgment, you create new synaptic connections, you literally rewire your emotional circuitry and you begin to prime your nervous system, for safety, for worthiness, for love. And that's why healing isn't a one-time decision, it's a practice, and every practice matters.

Speaker 1:

You are not who you were. You are who you choose to be now. You see, the past is part of your story, yes, but it doesn't have to get to write your future no-transcript. Take a deep breath and just place your hand on your heart. Place your hand on your heart and say to yourself I see you, I understand you, I forgive you and I choose to love you now, because that is where healing begins. And so now, when you are ready, let's start our healing meditation. And when you are ready, you can lie down or sit up whatever you feel most comfortable with. Lie down or sit up whatever you feel most comfortable with. I invite you by starting to take a nice deep, slow breath, and we can start by breathing in through the nose and exhale very softly out the mouth, just noticing on that next exhale, as you exhale, feeling your shoulders drop, your stomach soften, feel your whole body also softening and notice as you're doing that, feeling the ground, feeling the surface beneath you stable and steady, holding you with every breath, feeling yourself sinking deeper into safety.

Speaker 2:

And this is your space to simply be.

Speaker 1:

I invite you now, bringing your awareness inward, noticing your body, your chest, your heart, your stomach, and notice where are you holding tension, emotions or even numbness. There's nothing to fix, there's nothing to force, nothing to force, just breathing into what is here.

Speaker 1:

Let your breath create space around whatever it is that you feel, feeling and allowing the air to move like a wave, soothing, clearing, grounding.

Speaker 1:

And I invite you now to gently call in a younger version of yourself this might be you at the age of 5, 10, 16, whatever age comes to mind, whatever age comes to mind and see them now in front of you, notice their posture, their expression, their energy, their expression, their energy, and say to them now, gently, silently or out loud I see you, I know it was hard, I know it was hard and you did the best that you could with what you had, and you don't have to carry this alone anymore.

Speaker 1:

I am here now and I've got you Feeling your breath deepening now, letting love pour through you from your heart to theirs. Let that younger part of you rest now, let them feel safe and let them come home back to you and also just affirming to yourself I'm safe to heal, I'm worthy of love and peace, it is safe to let go what no longer serves me. I trust my body, I trust my path. I come home to myself now With compassion and courage, just allowing those words now to echo gently through your body like a soft vibration of truth, finding yourself taking a few more deep breaths, feeling the surface beneath your body.

Speaker 2:

Okay.

Speaker 1:

And when you want to, you can also give yourself a nice big stretch and welcome back. Welcome back, well done. Just allow the healing to continue to integrate throughout the day and night and remember if you feel that this was helpful for you, or if there's something that was valuable in this for you as well, you want to share it with someone who could also be perhaps on the healing journey? Then please do. And the affirmation for today is also it is safe to let go of what no longer serves me. I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for being here with me to the very, very end. I love you all and until our next episode, be the light that you are. Bye everyone.