Heal Within with Dr. Evette Rose

The Science of Emotional Intelligence—and How to Strengthen Yours + Meditation

• Dr. Evette Rose • Season 15 • Episode 6

Share episode

Send us a text

The Science of Emotional Intelligence — and How to Strengthen Yours (Including Meditation)
In this episode of Heal Within, Dr. Evette Rose — trauma therapist and creator of the Metaphysical Anatomy Technique™ — explores Emotional Intelligence as the nervous system’s hidden superpower. Through personal insights, neuroscience, and practical strategies, Dr. Evette breaks down the four pillars of Emotional Intelligence: self-awareness, self-regulation, social awareness, and relationship management. You’ll discover why EI is vital for trauma recovery, how to spot the hidden barriers holding you back, and three actionable ways to strengthen your own. The episode closes with a guided meditation and affirmations to help you embody emotional safety and compassion. Whether you’re healing from the past, improving relationships, or leading with empathy, this conversation will equip you with tools to move through life with greater presence, resilience, and grace.

References (APA 7th Edition)

Bradberry, T., & Greaves, J. (2009). Emotional intelligence 2.0. TalentSmart.

Eurich, T. (2017). Insight: The surprising truth about how others see us, how we see ourselves, and why the answers matter more than we think. Currency.

Goleman, D. (1995). Emotional intelligence: Why it can matter more than IQ. Bantam Books.

Gross, J. J. (2015). Emotion regulation: Current status and future prospects. Psychological Inquiry, 26(1), 1–26. https://doi.org/10.1080/1047840X.2014.940781

McEwen, B. S., & Stellar, E. (1993). Stress and the individual: Mechanisms leading to disease. Archives of Internal Medicine, 153(18), 2093–2101. https://doi.org/10.1001/archinte.1993.00410180039004

Schutte, N. S., Malouff, J. M., Hall, L. E., Haggerty, D. J., Cooper, J. T., Golden, C. J., & Dornheim, L. (1998). Development and validation of a measure of emotional intelligence. Personality and Individual Differences, 25(2), 167–177. https://doi.org/10.1016/S0191-8869(98)00001-4

Siegel, D. J. (2010). The mindful therapist: A clinician’s guide to mindsight and neural integration. W. W. Norton & Company.

Support the show

Speaker 1:

Hi and welcome here to Heal Within with Dr. Evette Rose, trauma therapist and also creator of Metaphysical Anatomy Technique. Today's podcast is going to be your safe place to explore emotional healing, nervous system repair and also deep inner transformation. And if you are ready to go deeper and you would like to be supported in your journey, you can book a one-on-one session with me or any one of my certified Metapsychology Coaching practitioners. You can also join our upcoming live healing events, workshops and also retreats at metaphysicalanatomycom. Now let's begin your journey back to wholeness, one breath at a time, one breakthrough at a time. And today we're going to dive into something that touches every area of your life.

Speaker 1:

Whether you are healing, whether it's trauma, building a relationship, running a business or just trying to get through your day without that emotional overload. We are talking about emotional intelligence. This is also what I actually like to call the nervous system's superpower. Now, it's not just about managing your feelings. It's actually about learning how to work with your emotions, not against them. You see, it's the foundation of how we connect with others, how we lead and how we communicate, and also how we heal how we heal. Now it begs the question why emotional intelligence matter now more than ever. You see, we live in a world that celebrates hustle data intelligence, but emotional intelligence I don't know. I see it as being something that's actually quite overlooked, and yet it's actually one of the strongest predictors of success, and research even shows that you see not just success in careers, but in life, in relationships, in health and also in healing and the ability to recognize and understand and manage now your own emotions and influence and emphasize with emotions of others. It's not just nice to have it, it's essential, especially if you are on a trauma recovery journey. So many of us were raised, perhaps, maybe in environments where emotions were either dismissed, punished or completely ignored, and because of that, that emotional intelligence it wasn't modeled for us. But here's the good news it can be learned at any given age from any starting point. So what are the four core pillars of emotional intelligence? Let's break it down together, because there are four main components to this.

Speaker 1:

Number one self-awareness. You see, this is your ability to recognize what you are feeling and how those feelings are also impacting your thoughts, your behaviors and also your energy. It's also about noticing without judgment. This is something that's quite hard for most of us. I mean, it was hard for me as well when I started to bring my awareness to this how to notice without judgment. I don't know about you, but have you noticed how sometimes you look at something and you just find yourself formulating all these opinions and often sometimes quite negative judgments, and before you know it, you're having a really strong opinion within seconds. Now, if you don't know what's going on inside and when we create all this judgment, it's hard to respond accurately and properly. You can only react. You can only react. And one of the biggest breakthroughs in my own healing journey was actually recognizing that. The way that others treated me, especially when I was younger, that became my inner voice, that became my inner compass, and their rejection became my self-talk. Their limitations became the boundaries of what I thought I could have and not have. But once I started to gain awareness, self-awareness, I was starting to find myself being able to say I no longer accept your definition of my worth. I get to choose that now.

Speaker 1:

Number two the second core element here is self-regulation. You see, this is the ability to manage your own internal world, your emotions, your impulses and also your responses. And this isn't about suppression or being calm all the time. It's about knowing when to pause. It's about breathing through activation and it's also, I would say, it's also making choices from your values instead of your triggers. Now, it's one thing to make choices from our values, gracefully, not fighting for it. You see, in trauma healing, we often work with the nervous system to retrain this regulation Because, I mean, the truth is, if you don't feel safe and if you are one of my students, you'll know I talk about this a lot and research shows this. I mean, this is not something new that I came up with. You can't regulate If you don't feel safe. It's going to be really hard to regulate, and emotional intelligence actually gives us tools to create that safety internally.

Speaker 1:

Now, the third element that I want to share with you is social awareness. Now, this is about understanding what others are feeling, not through assumption, but through a complete sense of empathy. Right, it's about attuning. You see, empathy isn't I know how I would feel if I were in your shoes. It's actually, I'm curious about how you feel in your shoes. You see, when we heal from trauma, we become more socially aware, not less, because we no longer then project our pain onto others. We start to feel what's real instead of what's protective. The last fourth element is relationship management. You see, this includes communication, collaboration, boundary setting and also conflict resolution, and it's so important because you can have all the healing in the world, but if you can't express your needs or hold a safe container with others, you're going to struggle to connect in a nourishing way.

Speaker 1:

And something that really blows my mind is that most people think that they are self-aware. Now, a study done by a psychologist found that 95% of people believe they are, but only 10 to 5% actually really are. Now, why is that actually really are? Now, why is that? You see, self-awareness it's tricky, especially if you are in a leadership position, because the more power you have, the less honest feedback you receive, and if you're living in trauma, survival mode and you may mistake your defenses for personality traits as an example oh, I'm just direct might actually mean I learned to protect myself by being blunt. But here's the truth Self-awareness it's not a trait, it's a practice.

Speaker 1:

Now it begs the question how do we even begin to strengthen our emotional intelligence? Let me give you three but powerful ways that we can start to already build our emotional intelligence. I'm going to share the points with you that helped me on my journey, because I I'm still building mine by nowhere at the end line yet, but I'm definitely building it. So what really helped me was to name my emotions, ask yourself what are you feeling right now? And then go deeper than good or bad. Is it grief, is it guilt, is it disappointment, is it excitement masked as anxiety? Naming it is actually going to help to almost like give your brain something to work with actually, instead of something to run from.

Speaker 1:

Second is ask for feedback, ask someone that you trust. How do you experience me when I'm stressed, when I'm under pressure? Do you feel hurt by me? It might sting, but it's also freeing, because you can't shift what you can't say. Another third point is also read stories. Another third point is also read stories. Watch people and stay curious, because reading books with complex characters or watching how others respond emotionally, or reading people's autobiographies, it really can help us to grow our empathy muscles, and the more perspective we start to expose a little bit more of ourselves, the more emotionally agile you actually can become, you see. So, whether you are a coach, a healer, a business owner or even just a parent and not even just a parent I'm a parent too, and God, that feels like four jobs in one, like four chops in one.

Speaker 1:

Emotional intelligence isn't just personal, it's cultural. You set the tone, you see. So to create environments where people are safe to share, that's one. This can also be where, let's say, where feedback is not punishment, where success can also be defined not just by output, by how people also feel along the way. You see, celebrate not just the person who climbs the mountain, but the people who actually help them to get there. Emotional intelligence, it builds trust, and trust builds legacy.

Speaker 1:

So it's really important and I invite you to remember that emotional intelligence it's not about being perfect, it's about being present. It's not about having no emotional reactions. It's about understanding why you have them and learning how to move through them with grace. And if no one ever told you this before, you are allowed to change your emotional patterns, you are allowed to break the cycle and you are absolutely worthy of being seen, heard and also loved for who you really, truly are. And if this episode touched you, if there was something valuable in it, share it with a friend, and also let them know that it includes a meditation, which is exactly what we are now going to move into.

Speaker 1:

So, when you're ready, I invite you to take a nice deep breath and get yourself settled. You can sit up, you can lie down whatever you feel most comfortable with. And when you are ready, let's start by taking nice, slow deep breaths, maybe a nice one in the nose and out the mouth deep breaths, maybe a nice one in the nose, now the mouth. Inhale calmness and exhale that tension, inhale safety and exhale that baggage of what you feel you are ready to release. Feel the ground beneath you, feel yourself being held, completely supported you don't have to carry it all, not here and not now and begin to bring your awareness to your body Gently scan from the top of your head down to your toes, notice any areas of tightness, heaviness or numbness. No judgment, just curiosity.

Speaker 1:

And when you feel ready, bring your attention now to your heart, this sacred space in the center of your chest. Maybe it feels light. Maybe it feels light, maybe it feels guarded, maybe it feels tired. Whatever is present, it is welcome there. Observe it, allowing your breath to soften that space. Space Now, imagine a soft golden, your essence, your truth. And this light is wise. It knows what you need. It knows what you need and see it gently pouring down Over your forehead, releasing that mental noise Over your throat, softening self-doubt Over your heart, dissolving old pain Down into your stomach, calming your nervous system and also, through your legs, anchoring you back into the earth.

Speaker 1:

Anchoring you back into the earth and feeling how this light is filling every single cell in your body With peace, with safety and also renewal. Let it linger now where you need it most and while it's soothing that area, let's affirm a few affirmations together and all that you have to do is listen to my voice and let them echo through your body and your nervous system as well. I am safe to feel, I'm allowed to heal. I'm allowed to heal. I'm worthy of love and gentleness. It is safe to let go of what no longer serves me. I trust my body to guide my healing.

Speaker 1:

Finding yourself breathing in those words, and let them land deep, let them soften the inner edges of your body and notice how your breath becomes steady, how your breath becomes steady, feel your heartbeat calm and your nervous system is starting to remember safety and your body is remembering peace and remembering that you are not broken. You are healing and remembering that you are not broken. You are healing Moment by moment, breath by breath, and when you feel ready, you can gently start to bring movement back to your body. Maybe you can wiggle your fingers and your toes and give yourself also a nice stretch, if you want, and placing your hands over your heart and in your mind or out loud, you can say I am healing, I am whole, I am home and when you are ready, open your eyes and bring this calmness with you, carry it into your day and night and know that you can return to the space anytime you need and gently come back.

Speaker 1:

Beautiful Welcome back. Thank you so much for staying here with me to the very end, and if this episode touched you, then share it with someone who's probably also maybe going through the healing journey. And also affirmation for today is I'm worthy of gentleness and love. Beautiful, thank you so much for being here with me. Everyone, I love you and until next time, be the light that you are. Bye, everyone.