Heal Within with Dr. Evette Rose

When Healing Doesn't Work + Meditation

• Dr. Evette Rose • Season 15 • Episode 5

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Are you doing everything right in your healing journey—but still feel stuck, shut down, or emotionally numb? In this breakthrough episode, Dr. Evette Rose reveals the hidden role of oxytocin, your body’s “safety and connection” chemical, and why unresolved trauma can block it from flowing—no matter how hard you’re trying to heal.

You’ll discover:

  • Why healing efforts stall when oxytocin is low
  • How early life trauma hardwires your nervous system to brace for danger
  • The paradox of craving love, but fearing closeness
  • Why vasopressin, not cortisol, may be keeping you stuck
  • Gentle ways to rebuild safety and restore oxytocin naturally

This episode includes a soothing guided meditation to help you reconnect with the feeling of love, safety, and trust in your body—because you're not broken. You’re patterned. And those patterns can change.

🌿 Affirmation of the Day: “I am rebuilding safety from the inside out.”


With love

Dr. Evette Rose

Website: www.metaphysicalanatomy.com

Free Masterclasses: www.matmasterclass.com

Events: https://metaphysicalanatomy.com/event_s/

Books: https://metaphysicalanatomy.com/books-by-evette-rose/

Book a Session: https://metaphysicalanatomy.com/session/


References

Carter, C. S. (2014). Oxytocin pathways and the evolution of human behavior. Annual Review of Psychology, 65, 17–39. https://doi.org/10.1146/annurev-psych-010213-115110

Champagne, F. A., & Meaney, M. J. (2007). Transgenerational effects of social environment on variations in maternal care and behavioral response to novelty. Behavioral Neuroscience, 121(6), 1353–1363. https://doi.org/10.1037/0735-7044.121.6.1353

Heim, C., & Nemeroff, C. B. (2001). The role of childhood trauma in the neurobiology of mood and anxiety disorders: Preclinical and clinical studies. Biological Psychiatry, 49(12), 1023–1039. https://doi.org/10.1016/S0006-3223(01)01157-X

Meyer-Lindenberg, A., Domes, G., Kirsch, P., & Heinrichs, M. (2011). Oxytocin and vasopressin in the human brain: Social neuropeptides for translational medicine. Nature Reviews Neuroscience, 12(9), 524–538. https://doi.org/10.1038/nrn3044

Porges, S. W. (2011). The polyvagal theory: Neurophysiological foundations of emotions, attachment, communication, and self-regulation. W. W. Norton & Company.

Uvnäs-Moberg, K., Handlin, L., Petersson, M., & Self, E. A. (2015). Oxytocin and cortisol: Social buffering of stress. Physiology & Behavior, 147, 164–175. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.physbeh.2014.11.039

Walker, S. C., & McGlone, F. P. (2013). The social brain: Neurobiological basis of affiliative behaviours and psychological well-being. Neuropeptides, 47(6), 379–393. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.npep.2013.10.008

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Speaker 1:

Welcome to Heal Within, here with me, dr Yvette Rose, trauma Therapist and also Creator of Metaphysical Anatomy Technique, and this podcast is your safe space to explore emotional healing, nervous system repair and also deep inner transformation. And if you are ready to go deeper and you would like to be supported in your journey, you can also book a one-on-one session with me or with any of our MetaPsychology coaching certified practitioners, or you can join any of our upcoming live healing events and workshops or retreats at metaphysicalanatomycom. Now let's begin your journey back to wholeness, one breath and one breakthrough at a time. When does healing stop working? Why is it that healing just seems to find this plateau phase? Have you noticed that when you start to, you know you're on this healing roll and things start shifting? You start to see evidence that you know there's aspects that's changing, but then there's other parts that doesn't change and some of you might be sitting there wondering like what changes are you talking about? I haven't experienced anything. I hear you loud and clear. I also have been there myself. You loud and clear. I also have been there myself.

Speaker 1:

I'm going to share with you quite a few tips and observations that I made with myself. You know along just my own healing journey. I myself have also worked on myself. I mean, I'm not sitting here preaching to the choir. I'm not above pain, I'm not above getting angry or upset. I'm human, just like you. But there are some things that I have learned that I would love to share with you and hoping that this can also help you to perhaps to start to turn around certain areas where you might feel stuck in your life, especially when it comes to trying to create a change in your life where you know you feel stuck, you feel stagnant and even there's maybe a part of you that feels so ready for that change, like you're ready to seize the moment, but it's like the opportunity to create that healing is just not arriving, it's just not coming in. And if that's, you hold on tight, because we are going to touch on some really important points that I would like to share with you.

Speaker 1:

What I've seen after working with, I mean, many of you probably know my history, you know the author, the many books that I've authored, but most importantly the one that I authored, metaphysical Anatomy, volume 1, which is that big book of 722 medical ailments where let me just show you, it's in this one. So if you're on video here with me, you can see it. This one, right. So this is what people basically know me for, the lady with the big book. So when I was writing this book, I worked with over 7,000 clients and let me tell you, I learned a lot, and one of the big key reasons that I observed in people either healing and then stopping, or people just not shifting at all, is that they never addressed their relationship with change.

Speaker 1:

You see, change is the very thing that we need to embrace it if we're going to heal. Right, because when you start to heal, things are going to change. It's going to change. Change is inevitable. You can't heal and not have change take place. And when we start to look at it from this angle, people start to realize, wow, it's not healing that I have a problem with, it's how I need to get there. That's challenging me. You see, when we have a negative association with the very thing that we need to embrace in order to change, in order to heal, you're going to hit that. You're going to hit that door and that door is going to be locked, right.

Speaker 1:

So what I had to learn was what is my association with change? You see, we are creatures of habit. We like things to be comfortable. We don't really want to move outside of our comfort zone, but we can be in that comfort zone and heal at the same time. But we also don't have to feel like we're being thrown out of our comfort zone while we heal right. So that's the art of real, true, graceful healing. It doesn't have to be traumatic, it doesn't have to be stressful, it doesn't have to make you it doesn't have to be stressful, it doesn't have to make you feel like your life is being flipped upside down. That's not healing to me. That's a healing crisis, and, of course, that is something that we would like to avoid. And the way to avoid that is to make sure that the path that you take towards the end goal that you envision for yourself, that you choose to have, which is the healing that needs to align with where you are at. And it's very important that certain elements are taken into consideration, number one being what is your relationship with change? Forget about what you want to heal, push that aside. Forget about that, because there is not going to happen, it's not going to shift, it's going to budge Nothing.

Speaker 1:

What prior association do you have with change. What happened in the past, maybe, when something changed or you tried to create change? Was it easy? Was it graceful? Did you have support, or did things spiral? Did you feel unsafe? Was it maybe even traumatic? You see, for me, I had very negative associations with change. Change was tough. I would fight change until the very bitter end, as far as I could, because change for me meant that I'm not in control of my circumstances. It meant that someone else is in charge of me or my quality of life, and change just had a very it just left a very bitter taste in my mouth. So for me to really truly heal to the depth of where I wanted to go, I had to heal my trauma and stress associated with change.

Speaker 1:

Once you address that now, things are going to start to feel more comfortable. This is when we start to. Then we can move on to the next step. So, step number one what is your relationship with change? Step two, a million dollar question that I ask a lot of people what in your life will change that you're not ready to change? If you healed today? If you healed today, you see, there's something else in the conscious or in the subconscious mind that is holding a person back from creating real, true change Example. This is just an example.

Speaker 1:

Let's say you want to work on your boundaries All right, maybe you have poor boundaries. You're a people pleaser Okay, great. So let's look at the pain points of healing what could be the core roots of why you have poor boundaries? And healing the roots might not be the issue. It's what will happen once that healing has taken place. What's going to happen? New boundaries. Suddenly, you're going to stop accepting what you used to accept in the past and people who were used to you having poor boundaries are now going to go.

Speaker 1:

Wait. What Did you just say no to me? No, you did not. Did you just say no to me? It's the reactions, it's our environment and it's how our environment used to regulate us that gets disrupted, because when you change how you anchor into your environment, how it regulates you is not going to regulate you anymore, and this is what the nervous system picks up and it fears that, even though, logically, we realize what we want is going to be positive. Of course it's going to be great to have good boundaries and finally say no to someone who's just been outrightly taking advantage of you. That would be fantastic. But your nervous system is saying no, and that's because we've made certain associations with people and our environment. So if you have someone in your life who they're used to you not having strong boundaries, and there's a part of you that also anchored your safety or your happiness in that person's presence, and them being happy has become your happiness, well, now we have a really big problem Because if you say no, their tone is going to change and they will not be happy anymore, which is going to disrupt and dysregulate your happiness. And what do we do? We try to regulate ourselves to fit in with them so that they can be happy, so that we can finally feel happy.

Speaker 1:

And right there, right there is the sabotage. It's a very deep, hidden, subconscious fear, so strong that it can actually stop your body dead in its tracks from healing your body dead in its tracks from healing. So you see, healing is not just about diving into and releasing a trauma. There really truly is an art to it. Some people's healing journeys they're straightforward because maybe they don't have these different anchoring points in people or the environment. And when that happens, absolutely, healing can be fast, healing can be graceful, it can be instant. But if we have these different cords in different directions, with different circumstances, with different people, and there's an emotional attachment to it or a safety mechanism to that. That's where it can get and feel a little bit more challenging.

Speaker 1:

So it really begs this big question and write it down if you want, what will change that you are not ready to change? If you healed whatever it is that you want to heal, if you healed that today, whatever it is that you want to heal, if you heal that today. This was another key, pivotal moment in my life and in many other of my clients' life, many other students as well. Let me tell you that this is a powerful question. Forget about what you want to heal in the first place. If there's an answer to this question, then that also needs to be addressed. That's really important. Take away whatever the nervous system and the subconscious mind is worried about or you have a negative association to, but somehow it gives us a false perception of safety because of familiarity, and that familiarity becomes part of our lifestyle. You see, this is very, very important. When we address this, it has an incredible powerful impact on people.

Speaker 1:

Thirdly, what I also learned that's really important is that the method or the therapy, or whether it's yoga or sound healing. It doesn't matter what it is that you choose. It needs to resonate with you, it needs to feel right. That's why I love the fact that there's so many other therapies out there. It's good, because these therapies can help meet people where they are at in their life. This is not a one-shoe-fits-all type of situation at all, so it's important that the method that you pick to support you aligns with what you really truly need. Now here's the thing what's going to take you fastest, the deepest, is not always necessarily going to be what you need, and your body can maybe feel that and it can push back. Don't see your body pushing back as a failure or that you're stubborn because you're not. It just means that your body is asking you to look at maybe another nitty-gritty little speed bump that it would like you to address so that the healing process can be gentle. That's really important. And the fourth step that I would love to share with you there's five, so this is the fourth.

Speaker 1:

When you work with a practitioner, it's important that you pick a practitioner. That's not part of the problem. When I say that, I mean if you, for example, experience neglect or abuse from your mother and your therapist is a woman, is it possible that you might feel uncomfortable with that therapist because she represents a mother figure? Now, a lot of people do not have a problem with this. There's no problem at all. However, for some people it could be a challenge. So be mindful if you perhaps have a sensitivity to that. So ask yourself the question would I feel more comfortable with a male or female? It's very important that you establish the kind of therapist that you need, and especially one that you will feel safe with. All right, because even any therapist, of course, goes in there with the utmost best intentions to help you. But if there's subconscious fear and the nervous system is firing off all these warning signals and you're trying to find yourself moving into a healing environment, you can see the conflict. Right, there's going to be conflict. So let's take out the conflict so that the body can feel safe and regulate. That's another step to look at.

Speaker 1:

And step five did you know that we actually also heal faster when oxytocin is present? Remember, this is the bonding happy, love hormone that the body releases when we feel safe in our interactions with another person, you see. So all these interactions can actually serve as a very positive, foundational layer for you to heal. Now, what is oxytocin and why does it matter? You see, oxytocin is actually called the love hormone, or also the bonding molecule. Now, but here, what most people right, what most people don't realize, is that it's not just about love, it's about safety, why You're not going to receive or take in love if you don't feel safe. So oxytocin plays a central role in how your nervous system shifts out of survival mode and it's the hormone that lets your body know it's safe to relax, it's safe to relax, it's safe to connect and, most importantly of all, it's safe to heal. So when oxytocin is flowing, you're going to feel emotionally open, calm and grounded, connected to others and regulated in your stress responses.

Speaker 1:

But when oxytocin is low, especially due to maybe let's say, you know early trauma, emotional neglect, your body might not know how to let that healing happen. Instead of healing, it keeps bracing, bracing for the next threat, staying small, staying guarded, staying hyper alert. Now where it all begins is during our childhood wiring. You see, your oxytocin system. It doesn't just turn on in adulthood, it's actually built during your earliest years and if you, for example, were held, nurtured and emotionally supported. As a child, your body learned that connection is safe, I can trust. But if you grew up with, say, emotional neglect, unpredictable or inconsistent caregiving let's say also abuse or trauma, or maybe a household where love felt unsafe or very conditional, then your body learned the opposite Connection is risky, vulnerability is dangerous. And what does the nervous system do when it senses danger? System do? When it senses danger? We know that it shuts down. It shuts down the very system that's actually designed to help you bond, trust and relax. So if you struggle with emotional intimacy, trusting others or feeling safe, even in good relationships, this might be why you see your body adapted to survive, but now it needs help learning how to thrive.

Speaker 1:

So let's dive into why is oxytocin critical for healing? You see, oxytocin is produced in the hypothalamus. It's a very, very powerful command center in your brain that also manages your parasympathetic nervous system, and this nervous system controls rest, digestion, immune repair and also emotional regulation. Now it's the system that you need for trauma healing to occur. So when oxytocin is flowing, inflammation drops, your tissues start to repair and you feel more connected to others, and cortisol, your stress hormone it drops. Vasopressin, which is a hypervigilance hormone, lowers. But when trauma now disrupts your oxytocin cycles and your system, your body doesn't shift into repair mode, it gets stuck in protection. And that's when that vasopressin takes over, keeping you on guard. You know vasopressin takes over.

Speaker 1:

Keeping you on guard, you know, tight and also closed off and biologically also resistant almost to how can I say? You're almost resistant to love or ease. It's almost like you just cannot relax. Have you noticed maybe? You're sitting outside, you're in the park, you're in an incredible vacation, you know retreat, and you just can't relax. You feel like if I can put a funny pun on it, you feel like you have ants in your pants. It's like you're cancer. Still, I have been there and by the time you're done with the holiday and you go back home, only then you start to relax. It took you the entire holiday to just wind down. That's an excellent example of that wind down. That's an excellent example of that.

Speaker 1:

So low oxytocin, like I said, is going to come in different waves and forms. You know, for some people it can be difficult trusting, feeling unsafe when, even when nothing is wrong, like everything is going right. It's almost like the more things are going right, the more you feel unsafe. It's like things are a little bit too calm. Where's the chaos? I know how to regulate myself in chaos, but not with this calmness. This doesn't feel good. It's all familiar, isn't it? And here's the big, the big point that I would like to make, or at least a few of them that I have been trying to make today. And here's the big one you confuse familiar with safety.

Speaker 1:

So, even when a situation is generally safe and loving, your body doesn't believe it. You might self-sabotage, you might pull away, you might dissociate, not because you don't want to heal, but because your nervous system is still protecting you from something you used to experience as dangerous. And where have we arrived then? The shutdown cycle, you see. So when oxytocin is low and vasopressin is high, there's some specific patterns that's going to emerge. You stay in constant alertness, your emotions feel rigid and numb, you dissociate, you feel safe when you're in control, but connection feels threatening. You see, this is the paradox, and the very thing that you need to heal is love, support, connection. It actually feels too vulnerable to let it in. So your body keeps small, it keeps you protected and unfortunately, it also keeps you stuck. We don't heal, we don't shift.

Speaker 1:

Now, how do we rebuild oxytocin. So we're going to mention some steps here for you, but we're also going to do a healing meditation on this, so stay with me. So some ways that we can start to rebuild oxytocin in a really nice, natural way is when we start to nurture safe and loving connections, and that means spend time with people who feel emotionally safe. Even small positive interactions a warm smile, eye contact, shared laughter all this can stimulate oxytocin. And also gentle, consistent touch. That can be a nice hug, it can be a hand on your heart, it can give someone giving someone a cuddle, or someone gives you a cuddle. You can get, for example, a relaxing massage. You see the nervous system. It responds to safe, slow, carrying touch.

Speaker 1:

Also somatic healing practices, for example trauma-informed breath work, yoga, vagus, nerve toning, humming, cold plunges all this can help to calm the body and to create conditions for oxytocin to start to rise. Sound therapy is another great one that I personally love and another really good one, believe it or not, learn to receive. If you receive love and it feels unsafe, start small. Let someone help you, let someone compliment you without brushing it off. Let your body experience the connection. It's safe again. Receive that compliment.

Speaker 1:

And so I just want to remind you if you have been doing all the things and still feel stuck, and if you feel like your healing is stalled or exhausting, it might not be your effort that's the problem. It might just be your biology asking for safety first, safety in a different way, because your nervous system is not going to regulate itself if it doesn't feel safe. So let your healing be relational, let your healing be somatic, Let your healing be gentle, because your body's not broken, it's patterned, and those patterns can absolutely change Absolutely. So now I would love to talk you through a healing meditation where we're going to start to awaken oxytocin and rebuilding safety. And when you are ready, you can sit down or you can lie down, whichever your position you feel most comfortable with.

Speaker 1:

And let's start by taking a nice deep breath and now just finding yourself focusing on your breath. Just notice as you're inhaling and exhaling, and exhaling Invite you now as you're noticing your breath. So let your shoulders just open your mouth just a little bit, dropping your jaw, and notice as you do how your thoughts also just start to quiet down and also let your heart soften. This is your time. And also let your heart soften. This is your time. There's nothing to fix, nothing to force, only space, space to feel, space to be and space to gently. Return to yourself and now bring your awareness to the center of your chest, your heart space, and imagine now a soft, warm light, and that light is gently glowing in that area, almost like a candle with a flame and this light represents your body's ability to love, to trust and to also receive.

Speaker 1:

Also receive, even if it's been buried for some time. Take another slow, deep breath, inhale and imagine that warm light expanding, filling your chest, your ribs, your back. And now exhale and, as you do, let's call in the energy of safety. You might say silently or out loud I'm willing to feel safe in my body, I'm willing to soften my guard.

Speaker 1:

I'm open to receive love, one breath at a time. Feel the shift, even if it's subtle. Your body might resist, and that's okay. Shift, focus to that resistance and let that warm light flow over that resistance, soothing. Remember that this is not about forcing. It's actually about inviting, and invite now a person to step into the room that helps you to feel safe.

Speaker 1:

And if you have trouble connecting to someone, you can always call in your future wiser self. Or if you believe in a religion, it can be God, it can be an angel, it can be a saint, whatever you feel most comfortable with. And this person, this presence, this being, represents pure, unconditional love. And notice how they take your hand and say to you you are not alone, you are safe now and we will stay with you as long as you need. I invite you to really allow their presence to be there with you. Let their presence regulate you and remember this is happening on your terms and that you are in control, and that you are in control, yet your body almost is lean on the safety that they provide, being your compassionate witness and safety person and presence.

Speaker 1:

Let your nervous system remember what it feels like not to be alone and I invite you to use your imagination to imagine that the oxytocin hormone is being released from your brain almost like a river, flowing through your body and give it a color as well, and feeling your whole body just feeling lit up and soaking up this powerful hormone, feeling almost love-bombed, allowing it to flow through every single cell in your body. It's flowing all the way down from your head, your shoulders, your arms, your chest, your stomach, your legs, through your nervous system as well, and notice how this light is communicating to your nervous system, telling it it's safe to let go now. You might feel warmth, maybe tingles, or just more quiet, more calm and expanded within yourself. Wherever it is that you're finding yourself.

Speaker 1:

Whatever rises, let it move through, and I invite you now to repeat these healing affirmations after me, or you can just listen to my voice. I allow myself to receive love. It is safe to trust again in a way that makes me feel comfortable. My body remembers how to heal. I am rebuilding safety from the inside out. I am no longer broken. I am becoming whole whole and breathing that in. Now let it land and, as it does, gently and slowly begin to turn to your physical space, bringing that feeling of safety and groundedness back into the here and now, with you feeling your body fully supported by the surface beneath you. You can put one hand gently over your heart and the other hand gently over your stomach. Take a final breath when you feel ready, gently, open your eyes, gently, come back.

Speaker 1:

Well done, very well done, welcome back. Well done, very well done, welcome back. And remember, if this episode touched you, then please also share it, perhaps with someone who's also on their healing journey. And, as always, breathe deep, listen within and stay gently curious. And today's affirmation is I am gently rebuilding safety from the inside out. Thank you so much for your love, your time and your energy. Thank you for being here and I look forward to seeing you in the next episode and, until then, be the light that you are. Bye everyone.