Heal Within with Dr. Evette Rose

The Worthiness Wound + Meditation

• Dr. Evette Rose • Season 15 • Episode 3

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Why do so many of us carry the quiet ache of not feeling good enough? In this powerful episode, Dr. Evette Rose explores how early emotional wounds shape our beliefs about self-worth, why the brain holds on to rejection, and how we can begin to rewire those patterns using the power of neuroplasticity, self-compassion, and conscious connection.

You’ll learn:

  • How the brain forms unworthiness loops from early experiences
  • Why other people’s emotional limitations aren't reflections of your value
  • How to begin healing through repetition, safety, and love
  • A soothing guided meditation to reconnect with your true, worthy self

This is your invitation to release distorted stories, reclaim your lovability, and return home to yourself.

With love

Dr. Evette Rose


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Speaker 1:

Welcome to Heal Within here with me, with Dr Yvette Rose, trauma therapist and also the creator of Metaphysical Anatomy Technique. And this podcast is your safe space to explore emotional healing, nervous system repair and also deep transformation. And if you are ready to go deeper and you would like to also be supported on your journey, you can always book a one-on-one session with me or with any of our certified metapsychology coaching practitioners, or you can even join any of our upcoming live healing events, workshops and also retreats at metaphysicalanatomycom. Now let's begin your journey back to wholeness, one breath at a time, one breakthrough at a time. And today we're going to be exploring that feeling that quietly shapes so many lives Am I lovable? We will trace how this belief is wired into the brain, how other people's treatment becomes the soundtrack of your worth and also, most importantly of all, how I can no longer and that I don't have to accept someone else's traumatized perspective as the truth, or at least the perceived truth, of who I am. You see, their inability to love me was never a verdict of my worth. It was simply a mirror of their own scars, and that realization set me free, and it is my invitation to you today for that understanding to also set you free.

Speaker 1:

Let's dive into how other people's voices can actually become your own From our very first breath. We learn who we are through our relationships. If a caregiver meets, for example, our smile with warm, our nervous system starts to pair with when I reach out with, I am received. Paired with when I reach out with I am received. But when reaching out is now met with maybe indifference, criticism or rage, our brain pairs my need for connection with I get hurt. Now, over time, that pairing wires into an inner narrator. You see, if they, for example, ignored me, I must be unworthy. If they shame me, love must be conditional. You see, these voices become almost like the barometer of what we believe we can or cannot have in life. Someone else's dysregulated worldview becomes the ceiling on our self-love.

Speaker 1:

Now, when we look at the brain's separation distress alarm, this is going to shed now a new, different. So let's zoom inside. When we have a connection that where we always hope to have our needs met or we hope to receive love when that connection fails, the brain's separation distress circuitry is going to fire and it's going to jolt and it's going to fire off a lot of stress chemistry. And this can sometimes, for example, be felt almost like as a punch in the chest or in the stomach. Suddenly, you just feel this feeling.

Speaker 1:

You know this feeling. How can I describe it? It's this dropping sensation and then cortisol surges and the amygdala stamps this moment with fear and the prefrontal cortex scrambles to make sense of it. Was it me? Am I bad? Is this my fault?

Speaker 1:

You see, repeat that loop now enough times and the brain lays down this implicit memory of rejection that can now be triggered decades later, with the faintest, almost like whiff of disconnection. The result a limbic collapse, shoulders slumped, eyes feeling like you don't want to make eye contact. You're looking down all the time and your heart's going to feel tense, it's going to feel blocked, it's going to feel guarded. And even in childhood, a partner's harmless distraction can actually resurrect this ancient, ancient program. And echo. See, I'm still not enough for being responded to. It's almost like we're looking for that validation in our environment from people who were never part of the problem.

Speaker 1:

Now, why does this feeling persist? You see these early pairings from our near. It's almost like it. Yeah, let me explain it like this. These early pairings, they form almost like neural cement. Now the amygdala attacks any longing for closeness actually as a threat. So what happens? We start to avoid vulnerability, we sabotage intimacy or we armor ourselves up with perfectionism, all just to dodge that old pain of unworthiness and the mishap. Here the sad part is that these protective strategies also actually block the very experiences of acceptance that would heal us. You see, this is where rewiring through love, safety and repetition is called for. Here's the hope, because neuroplasticity is now actually on our side. Because each time we feel genuine acceptance whether it's from maybe a therapist, a friend or a partner, or even it can even be a pet oxytocin actually floods the brain and it's sending those calming signals to the amygdala and that is opening up new synaptic pathways. So when we repeatedly start to pair old shame memories with new experiences of being seen and being valued, that positive circuit now grows actually almost like into a superhighway and that shame circuit starts to almost like into a super highway. And that shame circuit starts to almost like wither away right Into, like a forgotten off track side road that we just don't need anymore and we don't use it.

Speaker 1:

So here is a quick priming exercise, something fun that you can try all by yourself, and this would normally work if you practice this on a daily basis. So if you choose to accept this mission to your path back to self-worth, then give it a try. So first knob is to recall a loving memory. Here you, for example, can close your eyes and remember a moment, no matter how big or small, when you felt truly valued. Notice where that warmth lands in your body and some of you might feel really stressed. It might be hard to recall certain memories, especially if you're stuck in a heightened state of distress with a lot of cortisol flooding your body. We know that brain fog and memory recall can sometimes be a little bit of a hindrance. If that's the case, use your imagination.

Speaker 1:

I invite you to imagine a scenario where you would have a circumstance and an environment where you would feel deeply valued. Then anchor the sensation. You can place your hand over that spot Normally people feel it in the heart, but you might feel it in another part of the body and then breathe slowly. Breathe slowly and let that feeling almost just expand more and more and more for about just 30 seconds 30 seconds would be more than enough and then bring in more a recent hurt that you might have felt. So, while you're actually holding that love. While you're holding that warmth that's now stretched so far, and big, gently, recall maybe a recent moment where you felt maybe snubbed or maybe pushed aside. What's important now is to keep both sensations in your awareness. It's almost like the sting and the safety at the same time. And now let the safety surround the old pain, let it surround that old hurt feeling, almost like warm water around an ice cube.

Speaker 1:

And the next step then is to actually repeat, because remember that the brain learns through repetition. Do this 10 to 20 reps, 20 times sets, whatever you want to call it, but start the process of rerouting this old wiring. And remember also I can't stress this enough my breakthrough was so impactful for me and I really hope that when you really start and I know it's one thing to actually hear it, it's another thing to embody it, to really feel it vibrate through every single cell in your body. Remember how someone treated you was never proof of your unworthiness. It was a reflection of their state, not your value. And today you have that power to choose a different mirror, a different voice, one that reflects your inherent lovability. So thank you for listening today, thank you for being here with me, and now we're going to move on to our healing meditation.

Speaker 1:

Now I invite you to find a quiet place where you feel safe, maybe seated, or you could be lying down. Remember that this is now going to be a sacred moment to meet yourself with softness. Moment to meet yourself with softness and, when you're ready, allowing your eyes now to gently close, to start by focusing on your breath. Just notice as you're breathing, as you're inhaling and exhaling, and as you're coming back to yourself, meaning your awareness is coming back to you. Remember that right now, there's nothing to fix, there's nothing to prove or become your breath, just your presence, it's enough. Taking a nice deep breath through your nose, slowly exhale out your mouth, noticing and feeling how your body is softening with every breath. Feel the ground beneath you, the earth is holding you, feel how supported you are by it. You are safe, you are here.

Speaker 1:

I invite you now to bring gentle awareness to your heart and let the focus be in that space that's actually behind your chest, where so many of us can sometimes carry the ache of not being chosen, not feeling seen, where so many of us can sometimes carry the ache of not being chosen, not feeling seen, not maybe being loved the way that we need it to be loved.

Speaker 1:

What do you notice there? You might notice tightness, heaviness or numbness. Whatever you're feeling, it's okay, let it be there. Be mindful to not judge it. Let's take more the position of being the observer. Let's take more the position of being the observer and remembering now that there's nothing wrong with you. There's just perhaps a part of you that learned to contract to protect when love felt maybe unavailable or unsafe. And let's breathe into that space now. Inhale gently and exhale. Notice as you're breathing. Breathing may be a hop into your nose, into that chest cavity, and then, from that chest cavity, imagine yourself exhaling out from that area, feeling how it's softening any tightness that might be there, noticing how space is opening up Space for truth and I invite you now to imagine that you're standing in front of a big, full-length mirror.

Speaker 1:

You also notice that this is no ordinary mirror. This mirror shows you not as others saw you, not as your pain defined you, but as you truly are. Past all those illusions, fear, there's purity, there's deep love, there's wholeness and there's worthiness. And I invite you now to see yourself in this mirror through the eyes of unconditional love. Notice your softness, your strength, your resilience.

Speaker 1:

And your light and I invite you now to bring to mind a person who maybe at some point in your life couldn't maybe give you the love that you needed. And it's not to judge, it's to witness. I invite you to silently say to that person it's to witness. I invite you to silently say to that person your inability to love me did not make me unlovable. Your wounds do not define my self-worth.

Speaker 1:

Your wounds do not define my self-worth. I release your story of me and I reclaim my own. Now I invite you to take a nice deep breath, feel the weight of that story, leaving your body feel almost like your nervous system is just exhaling that memory. And I invite you now to listen to a few positive words of affirmation. If you want to, you can also repeat them, or you can just listen to my voice. I am lovable, I am worthy of care and lovable I am worthy of care and connection.

Speaker 1:

My heart is healing gently and fully. It is safe to be seen. I choose to believe in my inherent goodness. I no longer carry anyone else's distorted version of me. I return to myself now with love.

Speaker 1:

Let these words ripple through your entire system, rewiring that old, outdated shame with the real truth and light. Taking another nice deep breath and let your heart expand with that softness. Let the feeling of being loved loved not for what you do but for who you are settle in and also know this you were never unlovable. You were never unlovable. You were simply misseen. And now you see yourself clearly and you belong, you matter and you are loved.

Speaker 1:

Gently wiggling your toes and your fingers, gently wiggling your toes and your fingers, allowing this healing meditation to continue to integrate in your conscious and subconscious mind and throughout your emotional body. Throughout the day and night. Ready, you can gently open your eyes and welcome back Well done, and remember that if this episode touched you, please share it with someone on their healing journey and, as always, breathe deep, listen within and stay gently curious, and the affirmation for today, who I am, is enough and good enough. Thank you so much for your love, your light and your energy and for being here with me today and until next time, be the light that you are.