Heal Within with Dr. Evette Rose

Neuroscience of Grief + Meditation

• Dr. Evette Rose • Season 15 • Episode 1

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Have you ever wondered why grief feels like it's taking over your entire body? That's because it is. 

Grief isn't merely an emotion—it's a full-body experience that reshapes your breath patterns, disrupts your routines, rewires your nervous system, and fundamentally alters how your brain processes reality. Traditional psychology often treats grief as a series of emotional stages, but neuroscience reveals something far more profound happening beneath the surface.

When someone you love dies, you lose more than their presence. You lose a biological co-regulator—someone whose voice calmed your vagus nerve, whose routines anchored your daily rhythms, whose existence formed part of your brain's map of safety. This explains why grief can feel so physically disorienting. Your nervous system keeps expecting responses that will never come, triggering stress signals that manifest as anxiety, exhaustion, or a strange emptiness that seems to travel through your body.

The healing path through grief isn't about "moving on" or "getting over it." It's about neural reorganization—finding new ways for your brain to map safety in a world without your person. This podcast explores the biological dimensions of grief, including why the brain struggles to process loss, how grief impacts emotional regulation, and why community support isn't just emotionally comforting but biologically necessary for healing. We'll also guide you through a nervous system meditation designed specifically to create new pathways of safety and integration.

Ready to understand your grief journey from both scientific and soulful perspectives? Subscribe to Heal Within Podcast for more episodes that blend cutting-edge research with compassionate healing approaches. Share this episode with someone who might need to hear that their grief isn't a disorder—it's love finding a new rhythm in a changed world.

With love

Dr. Evette Rose


Website: www.metaphysicalanatomy.com

Events: https://metaphysicalanatomy.com/event_s/

Books: https://metaphysicalanatomy.com/books-by-evette-rose/

Book a Session: https://metaphysicalanatomy.com/session/


Bonanno, G. A. (2009). The other side of sadness: What the new science of bereavement tells us about life after loss. Basic Books.

Coan, J. A., & Sbarra, D. A. (2015). Social baseline theory: The role of social proximity in emotion and economy of action. Social and Personality Psychology Compass, 9(10), 505–518. https://doi.org/10.1111/spc3.12204

Feldman Barrett, L. (2017). How emotions are made: The secret life of the brain. Houghton Mifflin Harcourt.

O'Connor, M. F. (2019). Grief: A brief history of research on how body, mind, and brain adapt. Psychosomatic Medicine, 81(8), 731–738. https://doi.org/10.1097/PSY.0000000000000720

Panksepp, J. (2005). Affective consciousness: Core emotional feelings in animals and humans. Consciousness and Cognition, 14(1), 30–80. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.concog.2004.10.004

Siegel, D. J. (2012). The developing mind: How relationships and the brain interact to shape who we are (2nd ed.). The Guilford Press.

Van der Kolk, B. A. (2014). The body keeps the score: Brain, mind, and body in the healing of trauma. Viking.

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Speaker 1:

Welcome back beautiful souls to heal within the podcast, where science meets soul and also healing becomes a journey of remembrance, reconnection and also rebirth. And I am your host, dr Yvette Rose, trauma therapist and also creator of metaphysical anatomy technique. And this podcast is also your safe space to explore emotional healing, nervous system repair and also a deep inner transformation. And if you're ready to go deeper and you would like to also be supported in your journey, then you can book a one-on-one session either with me or with any of my certified metapsychology coaching practitioners. You can also join us in our upcoming live healing events, workshops, also retreats at metaphysicalanatomycom, and together we're going to start our journey back to healing remembrance, one breath at a time and one breakthrough at a time. And today we're stepping into the sacred terrain of grief, but not just grief as an emotion. We're actually exploring grief as a full body life experience. It lives in your breath, in your routines, your nervous system and even in the way that your brain processes reality. And we're going to go deeper than traditional psychology. We're actually going to be talking about what grief actually does to your brain, your identity and also your biological sense of safety. So if you've lost someone, whether it's recently or a long time ago, or maybe you're carrying grief that doesn't seem to move. This is for you. In today's podcast, we're going to explore why the brain struggles to process loss, how grief also impacts emotional regulation and why community support is a biological regulation and why community support is a biological necessity, and how true healing also isn't about moving on but actually remapping the story of your life. Now, why grief defies neuroscience. Let's start with this, something that the science world is slowly learning, because for decades, emotions were almost like treated like a quick, isolated reaction. Right, you feel fear that's your amygdala. You feel joy, that's dopamine Short, sharp bursts in a brain scan. But grief refuses to follow that model. You see, grief isn't a blip in a chart. It's almost like a symphony, a slow, unpredictable and sometimes beautiful and incredibly painful symphony, and it unfolds across weeks, months and years, and it gets triggered not by one big event but by the shape of, for example, let's say, an empty chair, a song in the grocery store or a mug that your loved one used to drink from. You see, grief isn't just held in memory, it's held in context, in objects, in our sensory loops, and that's why traditional neuroscience actually struggles to pin it down. You see, grief lives in the nervous system and also in our environment, in the world around us. Now what the brain also shows us and why it feels so messy. That said, we do have also some research that I've done and it's quite interesting. It's fascinating because when we look at the posterior cingulate cortex that lights up when you remember personal stories. It's almost like the brain's scrapbook corner, if that's what you want to call it. Then we also have the anterior cingulate cortex and also the prefrontal cortex. They now try to regulate the wave of emotion, but in deep or prolonged grief they actually can go offline and that's why we feel dysregulated. You see, these nucleus acubans, which usually lights up for reward. They also activate in grief Because yearning for a person almost feel like a craving.

Speaker 1:

It's like craving, almost a substance, at least that's how it's registered in the brain. It's almost like a form of neurological longing. But here's the part that gets a little bit tricky. You see, these findings are actually quite hard to replicate. Why? Because grief doesn't follow a script. Every person's grief is shaped by culture, ritual, language, memory and also support systems. Most lab studies strip those things away, so we end up with pretty much snapshots, but not the full story. You see, grief is almost like an ecosystem and in my work, when I work with clients using the MAT technique, I often see that grief isn't a single event. It's almost like an ecosystem collapse.

Speaker 1:

And the person that you lost wasn't just someone that you love. They were a part of your nervous system's map of safety. You see, their voice maybe calmed your vagus nerve. Their presence maybe helped you to regulate your breath and your cortisol. Their habits, their routines were anchors in your daily rhythm. But if that's gone, the body goes into a state of confusion.

Speaker 1:

It has to relearn everything and relearning the body, reprogramming the body that's incredibly important because to disrupt the cycles of these moments where your brain keeps expecting, for example, that hug that won't come, firing stress signals that feel like panic. You see, relearning also. Just walking on the street, seasons, smells, all this can feel highly charged, and our identity also has to retrain itself. How do we identify now with ourselves? You see, if it's a partner, if it's a mother or a son, this part starts to dissolve and it transitions. That is why no brain scan can fully capture grief, because grief moves through people, places, relationships and meaning, and it's such a unique and such an intimate experience and when we look at the healing path of it as well, when we look at the social brain and grief as well.

Speaker 1:

This is something I want to bring up with you now because this is also actually quite important and helps us with biological co-regulation, because the nervous system calms down through other people. We're just wired that way, even if you don't know the people. Through other people, we're just wired that way even if you don't know the people, right, for example, a hand on your shoulder, it can be a shared laugh, maybe just a steady presence. You see, grief often removes those anchors and then we start to grieve alone and the brain doesn't just get sad, it actually gets scared. When we look at the time of lockdown, when we had lockdown during COVID, many people actually said that their grief felt frozen, not because they weren't feeling, but because of that social scaffolding that we were used to. It was missing. It was absent, collapsed for quite some time. Used to, it was missing. It was absent, collapsed for quite some time. That's why rituals, funerals, shared meals, even talking to a photo, are biological tools for grief healing. They actually help to rewire that safety back into the nervous system in a safe way and in a regulated way as well. And that is where the science of grief is now headed to Not just brain scans, but actually long-term, real-life relational data. And if I can summarize this for you, to help you with gentle takeaways for your healing, if you're in grief, here's what I invite you to remember Long grief, it's not a disorder.

Speaker 1:

It's a mirror of how deeply you loved someone. Your symptoms are not failures. They are updates. Your body is learning a new map. Build scaffolding as well, invite connection, create rituals, speak their names right. These acts can rewire safety, get integrative support as well, and what that would look like is going to depend on what you feel you need right now.

Speaker 1:

Grief is not something to just move past right. It's something that we learn to move with. Grief is almost like love finding its new rhythm, and let that also be your mantra Let your grief breathe, don't hold it in. Let it breathe, let it stretch, let it become music in a new form. And I want to thank you also for being here with me today and listening to this, and if you feel ready today, now, as I'd like to do with all my podcasts, we're going to dive into a healing meditation and I invite you now to lie down, or you can sit up, and if you're driving or walking where you can't really meditate right now, then pause and come back to me when you are ready.

Speaker 1:

And now I invite you to just Take a deep breath, take a moment to find stillness, whether you're sitting, lying down. Allow your body to fully arrive in the here and now. Here with me and now hear with me. And, knowing that this moment is now crafted out just for you, notice as you're breathing, let your breath meet your awareness Inhaling, slowly, exhaling, completely Inhaling. Feel the weight of your body, feel how the surface beneath your body is fully holding you, really hold you all of it, your thoughts. Let it hold your emotions, let it hold your loss. And I invite you to note that as we move into this, there's nothing to fix right now, just the invitation to feel safe in your body again. And now, gently bring your attention to your chest. This is also the area for the vagus nerve, your body's social safety system. When we grieve, this space can sometimes feel tight, hollow or frozen. Notice what you feel there right now, with no judgment. Breathe into your chest, nice deep breath.

Speaker 1:

Exhale. Now we're going to inhale again on a count of four. Inhale one, two, three, four. Hold for four counts. One, two three.

Speaker 1:

Exhale for six counts One, two, three, six. Let your body release now what it doesn't need. Just be with that for a few seconds. And now shift your awareness to your face. Notice the muscles around your eyes, your jaw, your lips. These are also part of your social engagement system, the very parts that expresses love, smile, cry and connect, and softening these areas actually tells your brain that I am safe now. Notice how you relax your eyebrows now. Notice how you relax your eyebrows now. Soften your jaw, open your mouth ever so slightly and notice, rest gently in your mouth now.

Speaker 1:

I invite you to imagine. It can be a group of people, a one or two people or three people that you know that you feel comfortable with. If you believe in a specific religion, you can ask God to step forward, or angels to step forward, ancestors to step forward. This is also a creative moment where you can perhaps create a person or a safety person or people that you wish to have with you right now as compassionate connections and witnesses as well, feeling their presence right there with you, hearing it, feeling it, seeing it or sensing it, or just know that there's something there with you right now. Just presence, no need to explain no, need to explain no need to talk.

Speaker 1:

This is a moment of co-regulation, of felt connection. Even if these people are not physically there, your rational brain can relate, your oxytocin circuits are responding and connection is there. And when you feel ready, you can place your hand on your heart and one on your belly stomach and repeat, silently or out loud, after me it is safe to feel, it is safe to remember, I'm allowed to heal at my own pace. I carry their love inside of me. I choose to rebuild my life gently, one breath at a time, and I invite you now to breathe again, slowly and deeply. Inhale life, exhale tension, allowing your system to settle. Exhale tension, allowing your system to settle. And as you rest in this moment, your brain is gently rewiring new neural patterns of safety, connection and healing.

Speaker 1:

And this is not bypassing grief, it's integrating it. You're doing great and I invite you to slowly start to come back into the present moment, bringing this feeling of connection with you, bring it with you and when you're ready, you can gently wiggle your fingers and your toes, let your awareness return to the space around you, bringing this feeling of groundedness with you into the rest of your day and night and giving yourself also into the rest of your day and night and giving yourself also a nice big stretch. Well done and remember. Healing doesn't mean forgetting. It means learning to carry the memory with more grace and less pain, and if this episode also touched you, then please share it with someone that are maybe on the healing journey. Find support in this and, as always, breathe deep, listen within and stay gently curious. An affirmation for today is also my mind and body is healing. Thank you so much for being here with me on today's podcast and I look forward to seeing you in our next episode and until then, be the light that you are.